ALEXANDRA resident Gow Tan was born in Cambodia and grew up in Thailand after escaping the war. She came to Australia as a teenager in 1993, sponsored to train as a chef. She soon started working in a restaurant and became and Australian citizen. She was working in French and Italian restaurants until she lost her vision. She is now completely blind due to retinitis pigmentosa. She was diagnosed while on a working holiday in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 2005 after being unable to see the door. She saw a specialist on her return to Australia and was advised that the condition is genetic, although she doesn’t know which side of her family the gene came from. She was also told that it would take about six years before she went completely blind, or faster depending on her health. Gow said that it was scary hearing the news, “Because even though I still have some time left in 2005, I was still determined to work in restaurant for another three years. I quit in 2008 and then I stopped for six months because I didn't know what to do with my life. I’d been cooking for 16 years, all my life then.” When asked how she went about reconfiguring and reorganising her life as a result of the diagnosis, Gow said that she went to Nepal when she had about 40 per cent of her vision left. Se travelled with a friend for a month, and the friend suggested that she could become a massage therapist. In the role, she wouldn’t need to see people and would just need her hands. Gow then travelled back to Thailand and attend the Wat Pho temple in Bangkok for a three-month intensive to gain a qualification. When she returned to Australia, she was unable to get Australian recognition for the course and had to study again in Australia, another three years for remedial massage and shiatsu. She also said that she can feel people most of the time, “because I not just learn massage, I learn reiki. During that time also I study as massage therapist and also I have Japanese master in reiki. My reiki comes of the straight line of Usui.” She said, “When you lost your eye, it's big deal, your eye, and you try to grab something to hang on to or to help you, and then I meet my master and came at right time because it's like, have you ever heard the word the ‘dark night of the soul’? “During that time, it go for long time, because first you deny, that is not happening to me. I still walk down the street, don't want to do the training at the cane or guide dog. I don't have guide dog then. So deny. Not me. A lot of people know me in Melbourne, like at the restaurant because I work fine dining and really a lot of famous restaurants. And that feel like ego, that it's not me, it's not happening. You know what I mean? Like you just in that bubble.” While serving, she hurt herself quite badly as a result of her vision loss. This made her ask herself, “How can I make my life better? I do a lot of healing, spiritual healing, meditation, retreat and everything. It came in my mind that I need to accept hope… I don't have family in the first place and I grow up independent. The eye loss is like really big. But it's sort of denied. And then, the realisation that, if I want to live a healthy life and continue with my life, I need some hope and access community.” She formerly lived in a share house with friends but moved to a housing commission unit in Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, thanks to a social worker. While living there, she did some work in a clinic which rented rooms, and received a guide dog. Gow has been a licenced massage therapist for 17 years and has studied many different techniques. She also used a variety of other healing methodologies including crystals and tuning forks. With reiki, she explained that it’s about the whole body, activity, lifestyle, work, everything. “I don't want to be spiritual bypass,” she said. She’s heard the phrase, ‘the universal will never give you something that you can't handle’ and said, “I will not tell my client that.” She added, “I ask you, how can I help you today? What can I do? I work with your body that what’s right there, what you really need right now.” When Gow was asked what surprised her most about other people’s reactions when she went blind, she replied that people would ask, “Is your husband blind too?” He isn’t. Her husband is from Belgium and they met at the Rainbow Serpent festival in 2015. Gow was volunteering in the first days in the lifestyle area in massage and healing, as she has done since the festival started, and her now-husband was a backpacker volunteering in traffic control. They now have a lovely eight-and-a-half year old daughter together. Gow and her family love living in Alexandra. She explained that when her husband needed a working visa, he needed to find a job. He soon began working at Yarra Valley Caviar near Thornton, with Gow joining him. She said of the area, “I find it's very peaceful, beautiful” and that the people are amazing. She noted however that when they first moved to the area, there was no need to lock the door, but said this is less true now. She said, “FoodWorks are the best. I know all of them. Alexandra is like, people watch for each other.” She also commented with concern however that there are many people with no homes in the area. Gow is still a keen cook, having worked in kitchens from the time she was 15 years old, starting as ‘a dish pig’ in an Italian restaurant. After 16 years, she knows what she’s doing. She said, “I've cooked that for a long time so that's why it's easy for me to cook at home because when I'm cooking, I make sure that I set up the kitchen how it is and my husband and my girl know to never move anything. If they use anything they put the same place. So the whole house, I set it up so I know everything in the house.” It’s often said that when people use one of their senses, their other senses become more enhanced. When asked about this, Gow said, “The taste. I feel really enjoy eating. It's sensational. Like I enjoy more food, because I was enjoying as a chef, but I enjoy more now. I love food now.” She can do most of the ordinary household tasks, such as changing the bedsheets or doing the washing up and clothes washing, but she doesn’t do any of the garden work or collecting of firewood. She has a cleaner come in every week to do the vacuuming and to clean the bathroom. She pointed out that the vacuuming is very important as her guide dog tends to drop a lot of hair. To make new dishes, she will have her phone read out the recipe. Asked whether she has found AI to be useful, she replied very practically that it makes people lazy and stops them from thinking. She has found Guide Dogs Victoria to be very helpful on her journey, saying “I can't do without them… it helped me to be independent before NDIS started.” She’s had two guide dogs, both labradors, which became like members of the family. Both dogs have had different personalities, with the current one, a six-year-old, being very calm and placid. With her first dog, she was unable to walk with it gently because it would get distracted. She explained that the dogs are trained through the use of treats. “For example, if I want to learn how to get to post office, I walk from my home with someone to the office door and I give them the one treat and say, ‘this is the post office’. They then do it again and the dog gets another treat. The third time I walk back again and they find it. It’s amazing. She said of her current dog, “She’s very good,” but added, “It's difficult because people want touch the dog. When she remembers someone she’s distracted and doesn’t want to work properly.” She added, “Some people when they have a dog, they don't move. They don't stop they don't move to the side or anything. They just let the dog come and I say, no, you guys.” She said that when people are talking on the street, there’s nowhere for her to go. If they have a dog, their dog might jump on her dog and “It’s very scary.” This is the case with all guide dogs, but to her knowledge, she’s the only completely blind person in Alexandra, so people don’t know. She also commented that “sometimes… because I’m blind, people try to manage me.” People are trying to be kind, but they should always ask her first rather than jumping in and trying to help. When most people are in a queue, they can entertain themselves by looking around. For someone blind however, they “don’t know time.” They might feel like they’ve been in a queue for an hour but it’s only been 10 minutes, for example, and people might think her impatient. Asked how she entertains herself in such a situation, she said, “Breathe. Breathe. Sensing the toe, the foot, the calf, the toe, the physical body.” This is the result of mindfulness meditation training, and she’s now a teacher of the subject. “I practice on myself, like breathing or scanning, or if outside, hearing, hearing a car, from there to here, or the sensation of skin, touching, smell something…” From her description, she seems very serene. When asked about this, she replied, “I just want to be happy… It's life, have family, have life, have job, have everything. But it's just like, when people want more, need more, you achieve more suffering. “If you’re happy, content for what you are, like, okay, I am blind, I'm not therapist, I have my baby, my husband named Freddy, have friends and have good friends, it's very content… You have real thing, you know? Not just dreaming, not just before or after.” Gow volunteers where she can and does some sponsorships. This includes volunteering at the Alexandra Football Netball Club, although not this year as she has been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in her back. She still works from home however as she is able to adjust the height of the table and doesn’t need to bend. During the recent bushfire, she contacted the Alexandra Fire Brigade, offering her treatment services free of charge during the following months. At the time of the fires, her father-in-law had just arrived from Belgium for the first time. They took him to Geelong and then Tasmania. When they returned, she started working again, massaging people who had lost everything with no insurance, free of charge. Some would leave a payment even though none was requested. She added, “I say we don't need to talk about anything. You just lie down there and just feel physical, just massaging without need to explain yourself. I'm not a psychologist. I'm just like, sometimes you feel like, just have someone massage, just nurture. If they want to talk, they ask.”
